Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Anyone who knows me knows I am very particular about my hair. I don't really like people touching my hair, unless it's the woman who cuts it (who has, by the way, been cutting it for four years) -- which bring me to my next point... I don't like strangers cutting my hair.

Back in, say, 2002, I got a really bad haircut. The woman totally screwed up my hair... it was longer on one side than the other, and she cut "layers" that looked awful and weren't even straight. Keep in mind I was 12 years old. The woman messed up so bad in the front, she took a curling iron and "curled it under"... I guess this was her way of saying, "I messed up so bad, I don't want you leaving like this. Let's curl it and maybe you won't notice until after you get home... in which case, you will have already paid me." When my mom and I realized how bad this haircut really was, she took me to get it fixed. NOT by the same lady (that would have been another fiasco altogether.). Instead, she took me to another lady. Enter my current hairdresser, who not only fixed my hopeless locks, but made it look a lot better than anyone else ever could under the circumstances.

Therefore, it is no wonder that I do not like people messing with my hair. I rarely go for bizarre hairstyles. Even a ponytail is a stretch for me.

Let's go back to Monday of this week, during our "morning assembly" in the gym.
Administrator: "Drug testing begins Tuesday."
Students: "Groan"

Now, I have never done drugs, so for me, this was a very expensive waste of my mom's money. But, this is the first drug test I have ever had to go through, and I had no idea what to expect. (Let me start about by saying that this was a mandatory drug test... everyone had to do it, even teachers.)

Here is the Drug Test Process, in case any of you have never had to experience it.
1. Sit down with a gym coach of your choice. (Yes, a gym coach. As in, OUR gym coaches.)
2. Gym Coach of your Choice (let's just call her GCC) explains the process of how your drug test has a specific bar code, serial number, bag, and seal. This is a very official way of saying, your hair will not "accidentally" be swapped with another student's.
3. GCC signs about three official papers, saying that I am, indeed, Lauren Owens, serial number 456743566, barcode number 2bdkd9596fg. (yes, I made those up)
4. GCC sterilizes hair clip, and scissors.
5. GCC cuts a sample of your hair (about the size of a quarter), down to the scalp.
6. Student immediately touches bald spot on head to make sure you won't be able to notice where the hair has been taken from.
7. Sign form, blah blah.

Needless to say this drug test made me very uncomfortable. For starters, a GYM COACH was cutting my hair. Second of all, on the top of my head, I have a bald spot. (Which is, by the way, not noticeable unless I show it to you... but still exists.) Does this spot bother me? Yes. Do I tend to reach my hand up to my head and feel it from time to time? Yes. Does it creep me out? Yes.

What makes it all worth it, however, is seeing all the other students touching their own hair, and other people's hair, looking like monkeys scratching their heads.

Oh, and I got a haircut later on that day, NOT by a gym coach. :)